Pleated Pants

Starting sometime in the Dark Ages, a guy with a pear-shaped body named King Arthur dictated that pants could only be made with pleats on the front. Since he'd behead anyone that didn't do what he said, everyone wore pants with pleats and officially started one of the WORST fashion trends of the last millenia. Finally in the 1900's, an underground movement began to believe that King Arthur and his followers were finally losing their grip on the world and started eliminating pleats. It was a bold move, that many didn't accept, and many still don't accept. Obviously they are still terrified of losing their heads.

As for me, it took me until about the turn of the millenium to become aware of the horrible look on my body, making me appear pear-shaped, as was the plan of the original King. So a good friend of mine decided to take me under her wing, and help me to recognize that pleats were UGLY! Seeing as how ALL of my pants and suits consisted of pleated fronts, it was a bit of shock to my closet and wallet.

So now I have three pairs of pants left, all that go with suits, so they're covered by a suit coat and you can't really see the pleats. But now I look in the mirror and see a pear and need to get rid of them and complete my transformation. It's a big moment for me. It's a big realization for me that I'm excited about but also nervous about. Because with my luck, as soon as I get rid of the last pair I'll find out King Arthur's not dead, and I'll get my head chopped off! I just can't win!