Universal Studios Hollywood

I'm going big-time now! I'm selling janitorial equipment and supply to Hollywood! I knew it was only a matter of time before they realized my talents and came calling. It starts with a purchase from www.uclean.com of EndBac II and the next thing you know, I'm playing opposite Julia Roberts in Notting Hill 2: Orem Lowland. Can't you see it already? (switch to dream sequence of me in my Motion Picture Debut...)

Janitorial supply guy Drew Halibut attends a BYU football game. Recently divorced and down on her luck star Anna Scott is "Lighting the Y" to start the game. After the game, she's returning to her hotel, realizes she needs some toilet paper and goes to the local uClean Store. While in the store shy, but clicheishly cool and good-looking Drew helps her pick out the premium Kleenex Cottonelle. At no time during her visit does Drew ever draw attention to Anna's stardom, or the fact that she's only in town for a short time and needs a whole case of 96 rolls of toilet paper. Obviously she's gotten the worse end of "Authentic" Thai restaurants located in Provo, but that whole story-line is saved for another sequel...

Anna is so impressed with the quality and the softness on her Star Quality bum, that she returns to the store to visit with Drew, only to find it's manned by the Crazy Brazilian, known as Goo-Goo. She has a hard time understanding him, makes the obligatory comments referring to the original movie and understanding what in the world assistants at little shops are talking about. She seems to be giving up on trying to connect with Drew when she's walking aimlessly along the Provo River and happens upon a man painting a serene picture of a dead fish lying on the bank. She starts to comment of the oddity of a man painting a serene picture of a dead fish and realizes it's the multi-talented handsome Drew. He makes a couple cool and funny remarks, they end up making out, and with the confidence that her new found love, and two-ply toilet paper give her, she returns to star in Johnny Lingo II as Mahana and wins an Oscar for potrayal of the 10 Cow Wife who is recovering from the tragic loss of 9 of her 10 cows.

(Back to reality....)

So it's just a matter of time now. Those Hollywood types are bound to recognize the goods once they've tried the EndBac II and just KNOW that behind every good janitorial supply guy, there's a suave debonair cool witty manly man ready to move on to stardom, riches, and cool(er) cars.

Just call my agent, Goo-Goo and he'll set things up!