Getting Gas (Actual Event!)

With the cost of gas where it is, more people have turned to getting their gas at Costco. So now, there's a LINE to get gas. Sometimes you'll wait 10-15 minutes to save the .15 cents per gallon. Which really, when you think about it, is only like $3 for a 20 gallon tank. But that's a separate topic.

What I hate, is when people are angling and honking and getting all worked up to finally get to one of the pumps, and then, they SLOWLY open their door. Then they SLOWLY walk half-way around their car, and then stop, CHUCKLE to themselves and say something like, "Oops" and then SLOWLY walk back to their car, SLOWLY open the car door, and then SLOWLY lean in and get their purse/wallet/moneyclip. Then they SLOWLY walk back around, and proceed to STARE at the gas pump like it's a geometry problem and they never took geometry. They push buttons, they chuckle again to themselves and FINALLY pull out their Costco card and insert it. Then they seem so CONFUSED by the fact that the Geometry Gas Pump now NEEDS a credit card before it will let you get some of the liquid gold into their car. They FUMBLE around in their purse/wallet/moneyclip looking for a credit card.

FINALLY they insert the credit card and are ready to get gas. Once again, the gas pump must have asked ANOTHER tough geometry question because they stare BLANKLY again not knowing what to do or how to answer. SLOWLY they turn around, unscrew their gas cap, and put the pump head in. Then they FINALLY start pumping gas.

So the gas finishes pumping. They SLOWLY pull the hose out, hoping to fit in another 6 to 8 oz. of gas, SPILLING gas down their car and onto the ground in the process. Then they return the hose to its home, SLOWLY turning to put their gas cap back on. They SLOWLY walk around to their car, SLOWLY open the door, and SLOWLY climb in. From behind, you can see them do something like another "Oops" and SLOWLY open the car door, SLOWLY get out and walk around and look at the geometry machine giving it a look like, "Oh you silly machine" and they take their receipt. PAUSING to LOOK at the receipt like something new might have popped up there or maybe a new GEOMETRY question might have appeared. They shake their head, thinking it's quite funny for them to make a point of being exasperated by the high price they just paid, and then SLOWLY walk back around their car and SLOWLY get back in.

Now, they SIT in their car, organizing their purse/wallet/moneyclip and finding their keys which have mysteriously disappeared, and then insert them, SLOWLY, and turn their key. Another "Oops" moment and they put on their seat belt. Now they pause again, for HEAVENS KNOWS WHAT, and then lean over and open up their cell phone and dial a number and start to talk. FINALLY they put the car in drive, and pull away, SLOWLY...

THEN, as they are pulling off, another driver SLOWLY leaving another pump pulls in front of them. SUDDENLY impatient, the driver HONKS and puts their hands up in the air in a gesture of disgust.

This is an ACTUAL event, and the names wouldn't have been withheld because this person was NOT innocent and SHOULD BE SHOT!