Friday, February 25, 2005

The Incredibles and Shrek

I can now quote almost EVERY line of The Incredibles. There are still some lines that make me laugh. When Dash says, "We're dead, we're dead! We're gonna die!" it just makes me laugh. Don't know why, but it's pretty funny.

Then there's Shrek 2. Puss-n-Boots is just funny! After Donkey takes the potion, he asks if he looks any different and Puss answers, "You still look like an Ass to me!"

Come on! It's funny! Sure it's a little sad that I know all of these lines by heart. Sure I'm a grown man watching cartoons. Sure I can also quote almost word for word any line from Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, and any of a number of Dora the Explorer episodes. WHAT?? You don't know who Dora is? Oh my, she's only the hottest little latin girl on the planet right now!

Okay, get a 2 and 1/2 year old little boy and you'll understand...

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Cleaning Tips

uClean has a large collection of Cleaning Tips for House, Floors, Carpet, Car, Window, Bathroom, Kitchen and so Much More!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Universal Studios Hollywood

I'm going big-time now! I'm selling janitorial equipment and supply to Hollywood! I knew it was only a matter of time before they realized my talents and came calling. It starts with a purchase from of EndBac II and the next thing you know, I'm playing opposite Julia Roberts in Notting Hill 2: Orem Lowland. Can't you see it already? (switch to dream sequence of me in my Motion Picture Debut...)

Janitorial supply guy Drew Halibut attends a BYU football game. Recently divorced and down on her luck star Anna Scott is "Lighting the Y" to start the game. After the game, she's returning to her hotel, realizes she needs some toilet paper and goes to the local uClean Store. While in the store shy, but clicheishly cool and good-looking Drew helps her pick out the premium Kleenex Cottonelle. At no time during her visit does Drew ever draw attention to Anna's stardom, or the fact that she's only in town for a short time and needs a whole case of 96 rolls of toilet paper. Obviously she's gotten the worse end of "Authentic" Thai restaurants located in Provo, but that whole story-line is saved for another sequel...

Anna is so impressed with the quality and the softness on her Star Quality bum, that she returns to the store to visit with Drew, only to find it's manned by the Crazy Brazilian, known as Goo-Goo. She has a hard time understanding him, makes the obligatory comments referring to the original movie and understanding what in the world assistants at little shops are talking about. She seems to be giving up on trying to connect with Drew when she's walking aimlessly along the Provo River and happens upon a man painting a serene picture of a dead fish lying on the bank. She starts to comment of the oddity of a man painting a serene picture of a dead fish and realizes it's the multi-talented handsome Drew. He makes a couple cool and funny remarks, they end up making out, and with the confidence that her new found love, and two-ply toilet paper give her, she returns to star in Johnny Lingo II as Mahana and wins an Oscar for potrayal of the 10 Cow Wife who is recovering from the tragic loss of 9 of her 10 cows.

(Back to reality....)

So it's just a matter of time now. Those Hollywood types are bound to recognize the goods once they've tried the EndBac II and just KNOW that behind every good janitorial supply guy, there's a suave debonair cool witty manly man ready to move on to stardom, riches, and cool(er) cars.

Just call my agent, Goo-Goo and he'll set things up!

Saturday, February 19, 2005

The Death of Arthur Miller

A man who played a part of my youth passed away last week. It was playwrite Arthur Miller. Maybe his most famous play was "Death of a Salesman". But the one that's most important to me was "The Crucible".

When I was a senior in High School (Go Valley Vikings!!!) I needed an Arts and Letters credit. I decided that Theater One would be an easy "A", and honestly, it really was. But that's not the important part of the story. The fall play was going to be "The Crucible". It's an amazing play about the craziness of the Salem Witch Trials. I was approached by the Play Director, Mrs. Cacioppo, about trying out. Well, I was one of the captains of the Footbal Team (Go Vikings!), a Student Body Treasurer, and all around TRYING to be Stud! So the thought of being a thespian REALLY wasn't a good one. But I decided that if I was going to take the time, and possibly the ridicule of doing it, I would only go after the lead, the part of John Proctor. To my surprise, I beat out several Theater 5 geeks (not to mention to flaming homosexual aspiring actors) and got the part!

This experience was SUCH a great experience for me. I really learned so much. First of all, I really got into the part. I learned so much about the Salem Witch Trials, the part of John Proctor, and about the acting community. I probably wasn't that good in the part, but did okay. I got to do an on-stage kiss with my "wife" Elizabeth Proctor. It was really a pretty funny experience. I can see already I'm going to have to write another blog about my play experiences and the now famous "Lemon Starburst" affair!

I gained such respect and love for Arthur Miller. It was so fun to then read other of his plays. I've followed his career and life. It's pretty cool that he married Marilyn Monroe for a while. Any guy would be pretty proud to say that!

I am a better person for my experience playing the role that he wrote and I thank him and pay tribute to him for that.

Thanks Arthur!

Monday, February 14, 2005

Gravity Media Rain66

We're in the process of buying another company, a group of guys that call themselves Gravity Media. We call ourselves MediaRain. I would sort of prefer we call ourselves Rain66. I just think it sounds a little like "Route 66". And let's face it, after Depeche Mode sang their song about that famous road, it's just cool!

So back the original train of thought (that damn train seems to get derailed more than it's on the rail!) about the guys we're buying. There are three owners and managers of "Gravity". They are just cool guys. Dave is a "Movie Star!" Really he's the first one that I've ever known personally. Okay I've MET a lot of movie stars, but really never KNOWN one. Each time I pick up the phone and he's on the other end I feel a little like Brad Pitt answering the phone when Matt Damon's calling. I just feel a little on the cool side! Okay, I guess I would be considered one of those friends that really doesn't ever get in the spotlight, but it's a lot more fun to play the role of Jason Bourne!

The next of the "Three Amigos" is a gent by the name of Delane. He's another suave guy. He's really straight-forward and honest. He tells it like it is. And that's just fun! Let's face it, there's a lot of butt-kissers and "yes men" out there, so it's very refreshing to have someone just say what they're feeling and thinking. And then there's the name, DELANE.... That sounds like another movie star name. Or it might be a designer of fashion clothes. Can't you just imagine watching one of those REALLY annoying PRE-OVERLYSHOWNANDDONEAWARDSHOW shows where they talk to all the stars as they walk the carpet and they ask the sexy woman that Matt Damon is with what she's wearing and she says, it's a DELANE!

Last, but CERTAINLY not least, there's Wayne. Okay, I have to admit, he's sort of the quiet guy in the background, however I really think, and would be pretty hard pressed to be convinced otherwise, that he's the glue of the whole organization. You've got the Movie Star, the Clothing Designer, and then Wayne... He has this sweet goatee that makes him look pretty stylish and tough, but also seems to hide some deep dark secret. I think he might be a secret agent. His watch has this little radio in it that beeps when there's evil in the world and he gets whisked down a secret tube to a waiting jet car and his sexy Tuxedo and British Accent. He goes and saves the world from nuclear bombs in Payson, terrorists in Mosida Orchards, and then rounds out his whirlwind County Saving tour with halting a dastardly plot to implode the famous "Footloose" barn in Lehi.

Although I have to say, I kind of wish Wayne the Super Agent would fail on the last one, cause then there would be a big benefit for the Footloose Lehi Roller Mills building, hosted by Kevin Bacon (Wren), and I could walk down the Red Carpet, and answer questions of Allie McKay of what I was wearing....

It's a Delane!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Health Gards Metered Aerosol Refills

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